Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
Ephesians 4:29
I had to smile when I read this verse. We had a sermon in church this morning in which to pastor said, "If you want to find a place of gossip, walk into any faculty lounge". WOW! That is true, but harsh to hear. This verse emphasizes the same. We need to be sure that the words we express are true, but also our truth to tell. Much of what we share with each other in the name of a "prayer request" or with the illusion of trying to help, is really just to share a tidbit of news/gossip regarding someone else. I know that I am guilty of this, although I have been making a conscious effort to only say what I know is true AND what I am given permission to share from the one with whom the story belongs. Confidentiality is one way to interpret this verse.
I also think that this verse refers to the words that we choose to share with each other and the way we go about doing that. Do we uphold each other with our words, or tear each other down? This is another thing mentioned in church this morning. One major take-away from the sermon was that of an administrator who would only say positive things about others in front of people. He would praise their positive qualities while in public, and he would private share constructive criticism. This would be a great thing for me as a parent and teacher as well. To say uplifting words to others regarding my children or family/friends, while saving any critiques or criticism for a private or quiet moment with them. I wonder how that will change our relationship and the dynamics within the classroom or lounge. Great food for thought.
This verse reminds me a lot of gossip. I think it is easy for people to gossip about others or to talk about things that do not necessarily relate to them. To me, this verse is saying do not talk about anything unless it has value to you as the speaker and value to the listener. We all have frustrations in which we need to 'vent' about but maybe the way we go about it should be different.
I can really relate to this verse in personal and professional ways. This verse makes me think of relationships and marriage. I think that many couples can really bring each other down be arguing about housework, money, ect. But instead of arguing and saying negative things about each other to each other, it really is important to help lift your partner and help them overcome difficulties rather than criticize them for it. The same can be said to teachers and how they address students. I think every teacher will have at least one student in their career who is not good at completing homework. With that being said, imagine how a student must feel when they hear from the teacher "oh, you never do your homework". Where that teacher could have said "I see that you are on time and prepared for class today, but you do have unfinished homework assignments, how can I help to get those missing assignments completed?" I think it is very important as teachers to remember how we address our students and how we talk to them.
Susan, I too smiled-unwholesome talk brought a funny picture into my head. But when I relate this to addressing students it has a much deeper meaning. We must find a way to speak in positives instead of negatives. A child or and adult for that matter will give up if all he hears is "you're wrong!". We need to think before we speak and concentrate on what the student is doing right. It may be a little thing but a smile and tone of voice truly can change the listeners attitude.
Words are very powerful! We have the power of life and death in our tongues. Knowing this, I chose to speak life. I am mindful of what I say to students and how I say things. I look for something good in all students to encourage and build them up to place focus on the positive and not the deficiency they may have. I often, speak words of positivity among my peers and turn negative conversations into positive ones. I avoid gossip and I do not spend my lunch in the teachers lounge for that reason. I really like this scripture and try to apply this principle daily.
I agree with Nichole that this scripture reminds me a lot of gossip. When rumors spread, and words get lost in translation, a lot of damage can be done. I think that people are quick to believe what they hear as opposed to going to the source of the conversation and figuring out the actual meaning behind everything. Words can be very hurtful, but when used the correct way can be very uplifting and helpful. This scripture makes me think of the saying "if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything."
Like everyone else had mentioned, I at first thought of gossip in the school setting. Although, as took a break from work and saw a quote on social media that related this scripture to, "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about." In other words,tearing people down by talking negatively about the person can be more detrimental than we may expect. In this classroom, this also needs to be reminded of frequently.What we think could be a simple re-correction in the classroom, may be very hurtful to a student who may have larger concerns that they are dealing with outside of school.
I also relate this scripture to gossip. Girls on the Run has a lot of great lessons about gossip. When we first begin talking about gossip, we have the girls pass a piece of paper around the circle. One girl will say something mean or negative and crumple the paper and the next girl will say something positive and helpful and smooth the paper back out. We have the girls do this until the piece of paper gets back to the coach. We talk about what the paper looked like before we started and what the paper looks like now. No matter how many times to try to smooth it out there will always be rips and cringles that will never go away. This is what gossip does to a person. When we do this lesson, I often remember that gossip only gets worse as people get older. It will never truley stop. If you must say something negative only say it to help the person. I often tell my students that gossip is like a tube of tooth paste, once you squeeze the toothpaste out it is impossible to get it back into the tube. Another great quote is "Gossip stops at a wise person's ears." While it is impossible to completely avoid gossip, you should never continue to spread it.
I also relate this scripture to gossip. Girls on the Run has a lot of great lessons about gossip. When we first begin talking about gossip, we have the girls pass a piece of paper around the circle. One girl will say something mean or negative and crumple the paper and the next girl will say something positive and helpful and smooth the paper back out. We have the girls do this until the piece of paper gets back to the coach. We talk about what the paper looked like before we started and what the paper looks like now. No matter how many times to try to smooth it out there will always be rips and cringles that will never go away. This is what gossip does to a person. When we do this lesson, I often remember that gossip only gets worse as people get older. It will never truley stop. If you must say something negative only say it to help the person. I often tell my students that gossip is like a tube of tooth paste, once you squeeze the toothpaste out it is impossible to get it back into the tube. Another great quote is "Gossip stops at a wise person's ears." While it is impossible to completely avoid gossip, you should never continue to spread it.
I agree with everyone about the scripture being related to gossip. It exists among the teachers and among the students. We have to think not only think how will what "I" say may affect my colleagues but also the students. Students (especially those in middle school) are listening and watching, even at times we think they are not. We need to think of the things we say keeping them in mind. This scripture also reminds me of a video we saw in Dr. Powell's class last semester about using our words to give students "chips" or to take away. Let our words be chips, we give our students, like the speaker in the video said, words can make a difference.
I can definitely see ow this scripture relates to gossip. For me, my first thought was how frequently people assume that students who are non-verbal do not understand the language that they hear around them. As a special educator, I have always been a stickler for using only positive language in the presence of students. Positive language when speaking about them, their family members, their friends. As a former school administrator, I also maintained an intention of addressing issues that needed attention in private while speaking only (at least mostly) positive in public about others. One thing that I also think is important to remember is that administrative roles are often a very lonely place to live/ work. So much of what a school administrator has to take care of is confidential. So much of the stress that they endure can't be shared with anyone else. This scripture makes me also think about my time in that role and the absolute necessity of speaking only positive things while interacting with my staff.
As most of the class has said, this reminds them of gossip. However, my first initial thought was, speaking kindly to and about someone. Like the old saying goes, "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." The part that states," that it may benefit those who listen." To me this says, be the person to say something kind to someone, in hopes that others hear you. Sometimes when others see or hear good deeds, their attitude can change. It's easy when we are angry, to say the first thing that comes to mind. However, we will most likely regret that. I have to wait and think first when I am angry about something my daughter has done or said. She is not going to remember what I was angry about but she will remember how I reacted to it. Same goes for our students. Treat them like your kids and think about how you would like your own child to be treated in the same situation. Kids have enough pressure and stress from other kids at school, social media, doing well in school, etc. They need to hear as many good things that will help them ("only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs")as possible. It can be difficult with the difficult students but, everybody has something good to offer.
Wow, living this out is tough. It's definitely team building to speak words that only lift others up and help them with whatever they need. There are some days we are dealing with so much with our kids. It'd be great to remember to build another teacher up if they're in that boat instead of climbing in and complaining too. It's easier said than done though, I realize.
This verse reminds me of a situation that I was involved in this past winter. The teachers in my building get pretty gossipy and I got caught in the middle. One group of teachers were discussing an issue going on in the building and they were saying things about another teacher that I didn't think were true. I tried to clarify what I knew, but that wasn't much. After that conversation, I went to the person they were talking about to ask her what actually happened. I misspoke and then she got very angry that people were talking about her and immediately went to the teachers in question. This became a big, drama filled issue that I had lit a fire under. I, of course, felt terrible. I have learned my lesson and try to keep to myself more and try to be positive about everything so that I do not contribute to the gossip in my building and instead promote positive relationships!
Growing up with siblings means there are many fights, and this verse reminds me of my mother always telling me (I'm sure we've all heard), "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." I think this statement is more powerful then it first appears. Our words and actions do stay with people, sometime for an entire lifetime. So it's important to use words that are uplifting and can build up their self-esteem rather than constantly correcting them. Acknowledge their good qualities can be more powerful than we think.
This is such a great verse. As a teacher, I feel this is verse is extremely important when communicating with parents, coworkers, and students. I think sometimes it is hard not to be judgmental or bitter in our minds and hearts when we are spoken to in a negative way, or if someone is showing us they are angry about something to us. I feel it is so beneficial to think before speaking back to these people that are making us feel this way. We may feel like the other person is being defensive and attacking us, but we have to always remember that we are on the same side. Students' best interests should always be priority to everyone in a school community.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29
This scripture is essential because while working with children, we have to be careful with what we say and how we say it. Children can be very sensitive and they look up to us as heroes, the people who are always looking out for them. We must help them understand that how to respond appropriately through setting an every day example.
I think that this is a not so much about specific words or word choices, as much as it is about the intent of our words and the underlying meanings of what we say. As teachers, we we are only human, and we can become weary of student behaviors, parental criticism, situations with colleagues, and job other demands. I've heard this discussed before, and the point that came out was this: if you are discussing someone, be sure you are discussing them in a way that would be appropriate to say to their face. This way you aren't diminishing their feelings or value, and you set a positive tone with those around you. People feed on negativity and gossip, but if you can rise above that, others may mirror your example and do the same. It is important to follow this with colleagues, parents, and students because the goal is to do our best as educators and help students reach their fullest potential.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29
I love this verse. It reminds me of the saying, "if you do not have anything nice to say, do not say it at all". Sometimes, I feel that we live in such a negative society. People are so worried about everyone else and often criticize others if they do something differently than others. As educators, it is important that we set a good example for our students and have a positive attitude, even when things do not go as planned.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29
I love this verse. It reminds me of the saying, "if you do not have anything nice to say, do not say it at all". Sometimes, I feel that we live in such a negative society. People are so worried about everyone else and often criticize others if they do something differently than others. As educators, it is important that we set a good example for our students and have a positive attitude, even when things do not go as planned.
This verse reminds me that I need to be careful what I say, to really think about how I am going to word something. The verse reminds me of a saying that says, "choose your words wisely." We have control about we are going to say, therefore the verse says we should choose our words that may help, help our students understand, to know, to grow, to learn.
When reading this verse it first reminded me of the saying "if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all". But, it also made me think about my students. I think this helps to serve as a good reminder that we should not speak about our students in front of our students. Even if we think our students or others may not understand us or comprehend what we are say it is no excuse. However we need to speak in an uplifting manner about others in front of others. The way we speak about one another helps to shape others opinions of not only the person we are talking about, but of us as well.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29
As teachers working together in such small communities in our building it sometimes easy to talk about things going on that may not be on a level of honesty. This reminds me of a situation that just happened this past school year. One of my colleagues had changed the special ed placement of one of our students as their case manager. Two teachers did not agree with her and instead of going to her they started talking to other teachers on the floor about her decision. It turned into a huge mess and our district office finally had to get involved due to the severity of the gossiping and the mistreatment of the teacher. If the teachers would have gone to the case manager form the get go and spoke to her about their concerns this would have never have happened to the extent that it did and would have had a positive outcome not a negative one.
I had to smile when I read this verse. We had a sermon in church this morning in which to pastor said, "If you want to find a place of gossip, walk into any faculty lounge". WOW! That is true, but harsh to hear. This verse emphasizes the same. We need to be sure that the words we express are true, but also our truth to tell. Much of what we share with each other in the name of a "prayer request" or with the illusion of trying to help, is really just to share a tidbit of news/gossip regarding someone else. I know that I am guilty of this, although I have been making a conscious effort to only say what I know is true AND what I am given permission to share from the one with whom the story belongs. Confidentiality is one way to interpret this verse.
ReplyDeleteI also think that this verse refers to the words that we choose to share with each other and the way we go about doing that. Do we uphold each other with our words, or tear each other down? This is another thing mentioned in church this morning. One major take-away from the sermon was that of an administrator who would only say positive things about others in front of people. He would praise their positive qualities while in public, and he would private share constructive criticism. This would be a great thing for me as a parent and teacher as well. To say uplifting words to others regarding my children or family/friends, while saving any critiques or criticism for a private or quiet moment with them. I wonder how that will change our relationship and the dynamics within the classroom or lounge. Great food for thought.
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ReplyDeleteThis verse reminds me a lot of gossip. I think it is easy for people to gossip about others or to talk about things that do not necessarily relate to them. To me, this verse is saying do not talk about anything unless it has value to you as the speaker and value to the listener. We all have frustrations in which we need to 'vent' about but maybe the way we go about it should be different.
ReplyDeleteI can really relate to this verse in personal and professional ways. This verse makes me think of relationships and marriage. I think that many couples can really bring each other down be arguing about housework, money, ect. But instead of arguing and saying negative things about each other to each other, it really is important to help lift your partner and help them overcome difficulties rather than criticize them for it. The same can be said to teachers and how they address students. I think every teacher will have at least one student in their career who is not good at completing homework. With that being said, imagine how a student must feel when they hear from the teacher "oh, you never do your homework". Where that teacher could have said "I see that you are on time and prepared for class today, but you do have unfinished homework assignments, how can I help to get those missing assignments completed?" I think it is very important as teachers to remember how we address our students and how we talk to them.
ReplyDeleteSusan, I too smiled-unwholesome talk brought a funny picture into my head.
ReplyDeleteBut when I relate this to addressing students it has a much deeper meaning. We must find a way to speak in positives instead of negatives. A child or and adult for that matter will give up if all he hears is "you're wrong!". We need to think before we speak and concentrate on what the student is doing right. It may be a little thing but a smile and tone of voice truly can change the listeners attitude.
And Bill....keep using your green pen :)
DeleteWords are very powerful! We have the power of life and death in our tongues. Knowing this, I chose to speak life. I am mindful of what I say to students and how I say things. I look for something good in all students to encourage and build them up to place focus on the positive and not the deficiency they may have. I often, speak words of positivity among my peers and turn negative conversations into positive ones. I avoid gossip and I do not spend my lunch in the teachers lounge for that reason. I really like this scripture and try to apply this principle daily.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Nichole that this scripture reminds me a lot of gossip. When rumors spread, and words get lost in translation, a lot of damage can be done. I think that people are quick to believe what they hear as opposed to going to the source of the conversation and figuring out the actual meaning behind everything. Words can be very hurtful, but when used the correct way can be very uplifting and helpful. This scripture makes me think of the saying "if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything."
ReplyDeleteLike everyone else had mentioned, I at first thought of gossip in the school setting. Although, as took a break from work and saw a quote on social media that related this scripture to, "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about." In other words,tearing people down by talking negatively about the person can be more detrimental than we may expect. In this classroom, this also needs to be reminded of frequently.What we think could be a simple re-correction in the classroom, may be very hurtful to a student who may have larger concerns that they are dealing with outside of school.
ReplyDeleteI also relate this scripture to gossip. Girls on the Run has a lot of great lessons about gossip. When we first begin talking about gossip, we have the girls pass a piece of paper around the circle. One girl will say something mean or negative and crumple the paper and the next girl will say something positive and helpful and smooth the paper back out. We have the girls do this until the piece of paper gets back to the coach. We talk about what the paper looked like before we started and what the paper looks like now. No matter how many times to try to smooth it out there will always be rips and cringles that will never go away. This is what gossip does to a person. When we do this lesson, I often remember that gossip only gets worse as people get older. It will never truley stop. If you must say something negative only say it to help the person.
ReplyDeleteI often tell my students that gossip is like a tube of tooth paste, once you squeeze the toothpaste out it is impossible to get it back into the tube. Another great quote is "Gossip stops at a wise person's ears." While it is impossible to completely avoid gossip, you should never continue to spread it.
Erin Miller
I also relate this scripture to gossip. Girls on the Run has a lot of great lessons about gossip. When we first begin talking about gossip, we have the girls pass a piece of paper around the circle. One girl will say something mean or negative and crumple the paper and the next girl will say something positive and helpful and smooth the paper back out. We have the girls do this until the piece of paper gets back to the coach. We talk about what the paper looked like before we started and what the paper looks like now. No matter how many times to try to smooth it out there will always be rips and cringles that will never go away. This is what gossip does to a person. When we do this lesson, I often remember that gossip only gets worse as people get older. It will never truley stop. If you must say something negative only say it to help the person.
ReplyDeleteI often tell my students that gossip is like a tube of tooth paste, once you squeeze the toothpaste out it is impossible to get it back into the tube. Another great quote is "Gossip stops at a wise person's ears." While it is impossible to completely avoid gossip, you should never continue to spread it.
Erin Miller
I agree with everyone about the scripture being related to gossip. It exists among the teachers and among the students. We have to think not only think how will what "I" say may affect my colleagues but also the students. Students (especially those in middle school) are listening and watching, even at times we think they are not. We need to think of the things we say keeping them in mind. This scripture also reminds me of a video we saw in Dr. Powell's class last semester about using our words to give students "chips" or to take away. Let our words be chips, we give our students, like the speaker in the video said, words can make a difference.
ReplyDeleteI can definitely see ow this scripture relates to gossip. For me, my first thought was how frequently people assume that students who are non-verbal do not understand the language that they hear around them. As a special educator, I have always been a stickler for using only positive language in the presence of students. Positive language when speaking about them, their family members, their friends. As a former school administrator, I also maintained an intention of addressing issues that needed attention in private while speaking only (at least mostly) positive in public about others. One thing that I also think is important to remember is that administrative roles are often a very lonely place to live/ work. So much of what a school administrator has to take care of is confidential. So much of the stress that they endure can't be shared with anyone else. This scripture makes me also think about my time in that role and the absolute necessity of speaking only positive things while interacting with my staff.
ReplyDeleteAs most of the class has said, this reminds them of gossip. However, my first initial thought was, speaking kindly to and about someone. Like the old saying goes, "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." The part that states," that it may benefit those who listen." To me this says, be the person to say something kind to someone, in hopes that others hear you. Sometimes when others see or hear good deeds, their attitude can change. It's easy when we are angry, to say the first thing that comes to mind. However, we will most likely regret that. I have to wait and think first when I am angry about something my daughter has done or said. She is not going to remember what I was angry about but she will remember how I reacted to it. Same goes for our students. Treat them like your kids and think about how you would like your own child to be treated in the same situation. Kids have enough pressure and stress from other kids at school, social media, doing well in school, etc. They need to hear as many good things that will help them ("only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs")as possible. It can be difficult with the difficult students but, everybody has something good to offer.
ReplyDeleteWow, living this out is tough. It's definitely team building to speak words that only lift others up and help them with whatever they need. There are some days we are dealing with so much with our kids. It'd be great to remember to build another teacher up if they're in that boat instead of climbing in and complaining too. It's easier said than done though, I realize.
ReplyDeleteThis verse reminds me of a situation that I was involved in this past winter. The teachers in my building get pretty gossipy and I got caught in the middle. One group of teachers were discussing an issue going on in the building and they were saying things about another teacher that I didn't think were true. I tried to clarify what I knew, but that wasn't much. After that conversation, I went to the person they were talking about to ask her what actually happened. I misspoke and then she got very angry that people were talking about her and immediately went to the teachers in question. This became a big, drama filled issue that I had lit a fire under. I, of course, felt terrible. I have learned my lesson and try to keep to myself more and try to be positive about everything so that I do not contribute to the gossip in my building and instead promote positive relationships!
ReplyDeleteGrowing up with siblings means there are many fights, and this verse reminds me of my mother always telling me (I'm sure we've all heard), "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." I think this statement is more powerful then it first appears. Our words and actions do stay with people, sometime for an entire lifetime. So it's important to use words that are uplifting and can build up their self-esteem rather than constantly correcting them. Acknowledge their good qualities can be more powerful than we think.
ReplyDeleteThis is such a great verse. As a teacher, I feel this is verse is extremely important when communicating with parents, coworkers, and students. I think sometimes it is hard not to be judgmental or bitter in our minds and hearts when we are spoken to in a negative way, or if someone is showing us they are angry about something to us. I feel it is so beneficial to think before speaking back to these people that are making us feel this way. We may feel like the other person is being defensive and attacking us, but we have to always remember that we are on the same side. Students' best interests should always be priority to everyone in a school community.
ReplyDeleteDo not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29
ReplyDeleteThis scripture is essential because while working with children, we have to be careful with what we say and how we say it. Children can be very sensitive and they look up to us as heroes, the people who are always looking out for them. We must help them understand that how to respond appropriately through setting an every day example.
I think that this is a not so much about specific words or word choices, as much as it is about the intent of our words and the underlying meanings of what we say. As teachers, we we are only human, and we can become weary of student behaviors, parental criticism, situations with colleagues, and job other demands. I've heard this discussed before, and the point that came out was this: if you are discussing someone, be sure you are discussing them in a way that would be appropriate to say to their face. This way you aren't diminishing their feelings or value, and you set a positive tone with those around you. People feed on negativity and gossip, but if you can rise above that, others may mirror your example and do the same. It is important to follow this with colleagues, parents, and students because the goal is to do our best as educators and help students reach their fullest potential.
ReplyDeleteDo not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29
ReplyDeleteI love this verse. It reminds me of the saying, "if you do not have anything nice to say, do not say it at all". Sometimes, I feel that we live in such a negative society. People are so worried about everyone else and often criticize others if they do something differently than others. As educators, it is important that we set a good example for our students and have a positive attitude, even when things do not go as planned.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29
ReplyDeleteI love this verse. It reminds me of the saying, "if you do not have anything nice to say, do not say it at all". Sometimes, I feel that we live in such a negative society. People are so worried about everyone else and often criticize others if they do something differently than others. As educators, it is important that we set a good example for our students and have a positive attitude, even when things do not go as planned.
This verse reminds me that I need to be careful what I say, to really think about how I am going to word something. The verse reminds me of a saying that says, "choose your words wisely." We have control about we are going to say, therefore the verse says we should choose our words that may help, help our students understand, to know, to grow, to learn.
ReplyDeleteWhen reading this verse it first reminded me of the saying "if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all". But, it also made me think about my students. I think this helps to serve as a good reminder that we should not speak about our students in front of our students. Even if we think our students or others may not understand us or comprehend what we are say it is no excuse. However we need to speak in an uplifting manner about others in front of others. The way we speak about one another helps to shape others opinions of not only the person we are talking about, but of us as well.
ReplyDeleteDo not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29
ReplyDeleteAs teachers working together in such small communities in our building it sometimes easy to talk about things going on that may not be on a level of honesty. This reminds me of a situation that just happened this past school year. One of my colleagues had changed the special ed placement of one of our students as their case manager. Two teachers did not agree with her and instead of going to her they started talking to other teachers on the floor about her decision. It turned into a huge mess and our district office finally had to get involved due to the severity of the gossiping and the mistreatment of the teacher. If the teachers would have gone to the case manager form the get go and spoke to her about their concerns this would have never have happened to the extent that it did and would have had a positive outcome not a negative one.